Ten Immutable Laws of Human Behavior,
all Subject to Change without Notice.

I.  Without a Budget and a Deadline there is no Reality. 

You cannot begin to imagine the number of people who call me for Free Ideas.  Everyone wants to get started immediately on an advertising campaign but have neither two nickels to rub together nor any glimmer as to the meaning of "Closing Date."  Fortunately, if the link above doesn't work,  the FREE AD AGENCY section of the local Yellow Pages is replete with Instant Solutions.

II.  Only Two people can say "Yes!" to an ad.  

One is the Client who signs the check.  The other is the Customer who buys the product.  If the Client likes the ads, they run once.  If the customers like them, they may run again.  Agencies, not unreasonably, endeavor to ensure that the ads run at least once.   Mine run often.

III.  People play by their own Rules. 

The more you want them to play by yours, the more likely they are to cheat or just walk away from the Game.  P&G's version of this law is, "Do not violate established habits and practices."  

To apply this rule to your own affairs, try to reduce the complexity of your products & services, web pages, phone directory, and other Corporate Barriers to Entry.  In a word: KISS.

IV.  There are no Unique Situations worth fixing.

Train your intellectual and media guns on wide-spread customer problems. Ignore the rarely heard wants, needs, and exceptional cases.  Get Sales to fix them. 

Ignore gripes about your advertising.  If one or two cranks call up to complain about that In Your Face headline, be happy that you're cutting through the clutter.  In fact, if no-one ever complains about your ads, they're probably not very good.

V.  We are all freelancers.  

We just freelance some places longer than others. Company CEOs change jobs about as often as Copywriters.  Very few people work for the same company for their entire lives.  Most of them are already dead. Figuratively at least.

VI.  V > P > C. 

Perceived Value must be greater than Price, or there's No Sale.  
Price must be greater than Cost, or there's No Company.
Ignore this Rule at your peril.   

VII. There is no Minor League in Advertising. 

Just because you've never done this before doesn't mean you get a price or sympathy break on creative, production, or media. Total strangers will compare your First Ad Ever to the work of your better-heeled competitors and judge your brand accordingly.   (See Law VI.) The good news is that no consumers will ever base their purchase decision on the size of your ad agency.

VIII.  Emotions Rule.  

Individuals behave Irrationally.  They hope they are acting in their own self-interest. They fear making a mistake.  They are often wrong.  The longer people "think about it" the less likely they are to act.  Your ads can list ten rational reasons why people should try your brand, but they only need one lousy excuse not to.  (A common excuse is, "What a lousy looking ad.") Groups do behave rationally, though (cf Adam Smith's "Market Forces Prevail").  If 35% of your 1-800 callers buy and 65% do not, it may be that those 65% share an Emotional Block.  

IX.  People only buy things they are Aware of.   

The Ninth Law appears to be a truism. It is not. Brand Awareness is an elusive quality misunderstood by most advertisers.  Beginners especially are often discouraged when they run a week of local-station-produced radio spots and nothing much happens. Two or three calls from steamers, then zilch. "See, advertising doesn't work!" Awareness means you must equal or overcome people's awareness of Brands Other Than Yours.  There are two ways to do that: Massive Media Tonnage and/or Better Ideas.   

X. Media cannot save a Bad Idea.  

A good first impression run nine times will do a much better job than a lousy first impression run ten times.  Spend something on creative &  production. However, Hollywood Production values cannot save a Bad Idea either. A good rule of thumb is to approve a Good Idea based on sound Strategy that you can produce adequately for half your budget, then spend the other half on talent, lighting, and other Major League touches.  (See Rule VII.) Of course, all this presupposes that you actually have a Budget.  

Which brings us back to Rule I..